Good Riddance, Banana!

Thats right, Bananas are dying of fungus, and because they don't have seeds, they can't evolve!

It happened in the 1950s with one strain, and now the strain that we all know (and hate) is being killed by the same fungus!

Here is a link to the story.

I hate bananas, so, I'm okay with this development.

Its as gross as Furrow and his damned YOGART in class.

Ew.

Don't you know its spoiled dairy?

Ew!

Bananas are gross, and its inconsiderate that you all sit there, eating them with no regard for the rest of us.

They smell awful!

And the texture?

Ew!

Enough said.

Merry Christmas my goyish friends.

Happy Movie/Chinese Food day to my yids.

Stay Tuned...

Office Space: The Drama

Someone with a lot of time on their hands re-cut the trailer for Office Space to be a drama instead of a comedy.

Its worth a check.

"How to save a life" is really appropriate for it I think.



For those on facebook that don't see the video, here is the link

Enjoy.


Stay Tuned...

Why won't this Nick Saban thing die?

From today's South Florida Sun-Sentinel:

As always, here is the link if you want to read it directly from the website.

BRICKER: Saban has self to blame

Dolphins coach badly mishandled Alabama questions.

Published December 13, 2006

Nick Saban is at the end of his rope with reporters buzzing him with questions about the University of Alabama head coaching job.

But, of course, it's a noose that the Dolphins coach himself threw over a 20-foot-high branch.

It's just astounding that a man of his sophistication could have so badly mishandled this situation, and if he's learned anything let's hope that he's figured out it's foolish to play word games and throw out half-truths that chip away at his credibility when there's nothing at stake.

This completely avoidable controversy began with Saban denying he had been contacted by Alabama representatives, which was, in a strict sense, true. They had contacted his agent, Jimmy Sexton.

And so it was on Nov. 27, when asked if he had spoken with Alabama officials, Saban told reporters: "No, I haven't. I don't care to be. I don't want to be. I've got a job to do here."

That's not a lie, but it's not the full truth, either.

There are times when head coaches have good reason to obscure the truth --before a big game, for example, when you don't want an opponent to know the dicey medical condition of your quarterback.

But with the Saban-Alabama situation, there was no good reason to be anything but completely honest. That's what is so inscrutable here. There was nothing to gain by playing this silly word game, unless Saban thought he could end the story right there.

If he did, then he's spent too much time in Baton Rouge, La., and East Lansing, Mich. South Florida is not a small media market and the circle of information about Alabama's interest in him was too wide to conceal.

If he was worried about how this persistent story would affect his players or "distract" them, to employ a badly overused football cliche, then he misjudged there as well.

All Saban had to do when the story first broke was to say, "Fellas, I've just told the team and now I'm telling you that someone from Alabama called my agent and asked if I would be interested in discussing the head coaching job there. I told Jimmy Sexton to tell them I'm not interested, don't want to discuss it, don't want to entertain any offers. I'm staying right here. Period. End of story."

That would have finished it right there. But by parsing words with the media, Saban not only gave the story legs, but left his players dangling as well as they wondered if there was a kernel of truth to it.

Incredibly, a few days later, after the Dec. 3 loss to Jacksonville, Saban hurt himself even more when he bristled: "I'm not going to continue to respond to rumors and innuendo, which this obviously is. I'm committed to a group of guys here and a football team and a football staff, and we're working hard to get this season right. It really challenges your professionalism and integrity to even talk about it. People throw it to the wall, see what sticks."

Saban isn't the only NFL coach who has difficulty being candid with the media. We all recall Bill Parcells romancing the Tampa Bay Buccaneers before leaving them at the altar.

But there also are coaches who are honest and forthcoming. Tony Dungy of the Colts comes to mind. For all his gritty personality, which is not unlike Saban's, Bill Cowher of the Steelers is not a man who plays word games.

That doesn't mean he tells you everything on his mind all the time. But with Cowher and Dungy, Mike Shanahan and Herman Edwards, if they don't want to tell you something, they'll tell you they don't want to tell you.

They won't lie to you. And they won't play word games, especially when there is nothing tangible at stake.

Charles Bricker's NFL column appears Wednesdays and Sundays. He can be reached at cbricker@sun-sentinel.com.

This thing just wont go away. I'd like to think that it could happen, but the truth of the matter is, it will not.

Can't we focus on a more rational option?

Stay Tuned...

Ask the Experts: Do you want the Alabama job?

The staff at "Collegefootballnews.com" was asked as their daily quesiton "Do you want the Alabama head coaching job?"

Here is the link

CollegeFootballNews.com Dec 12, 2006

Tuesday Question ... Do you want the Alabama head coaching job?

Pete Fiutak
Q: Do you want the Alabama job?

A: Bring it on.

I know the expectations are unrealistic and the pressure is unbelievable, but name the big-time head coaching job that's a walk in the park? If you want no pressure at the moment, go take the Idaho gig.

If Auburn can recruit well and win, then so can Alabama. If I get the job, I go back to what Tide fans want and make sure the defense is a rock. The 2005 team won because it stopped everyone, and got every break in the book. Next, I'd make sure the running game is working. Really working. I'll sell the top running back recruits that the star of my team will be a national superstar as the focal point of the offense. In other words, I want the offense to be Arkansas of this year. If all that fails, I'll blame the Shula era and claim I need the full four years to get all "my guys" in.

Then I'll leave and take over at Texas A&M in 2009.

Richard Cirminiello
Q: Do you want the Alabama job?

A: Unless I’m already at a first-rate school, without hesitation. Okay, so maybe ‘Bama thinks it’s Jennifer Garner when it’s really Jennifer Bealls, but this is still a great head coaching opportunity. It’s a chance to coach in the SEC at an institution that has one of the strongest traditions and fan bases in all of college football. Compensation will be more than competitive, as will the facilities in Tuscaloosa. Sure, Auburn has made inroads in recent years, but this is still a red state, particularly when the Tide is rolling. Just because Mike Shula couldn’t produce more than six wins this year does not mean you’d be inheriting a rebuilding job. The current roster has a nice mix of young players, including a returning starter at quarterback and future stars on both sides of the ball in offensive tackle Andre Smith and linebacker Prince Hall. As far as the unreasonable expectations and ghost of the Bear—big freakin’ deal. Those are challenges I’d embrace in order to lead such a storied football program. Anyway, who’d want to work someplace where the expectations are tempered or the boosters and student body canonize you for winning seven games and earning an invitation to the Fly By Night Bowl? The flip side of that immense pressure and enormous expectations is the potential to be that guy that brings the glory back to the ‘Bama program, which is even more intoxicating than the seven-digit salary and lucrative weekly television shows. Look at Pete Carroll at USC or Jim Tressel at Ohio State. They’re gods for raising the bar. How about Charlie Weis at Notre Dame? He’s been pounded by Ohio State, Michigan and USC this calendar year, but even hints of yesteryear have earned him the genius tag in certain circles. I want a chance to be that guy. I want a chance to get Alabama football back to where it belongs.

John Harris
Q: Do you want the Alabama job?

A. Absolutely, I’d love to have the job at Alabama, but I can completely see why certain coaches are turning it down. However, this isn’t a football coaching question, as much as it is a question on risk management, ego and job security.

How many people would take a job, say CEO of a major corporation with a meddling board of directors and unrealistic expectations of performance in the market place, when that individual is currently the CEO of a company that’s performing better, has more opportunity to be successful, where that person is wildly successful right now? Shoot, pick an occupation – teacher, banker or candlestick maker. The answer is still not many. Now, add in the fact that most coaches are risk aversive by nature and it’s a volatile combination that doesn’t seemingly bode well for Alabama.

But, coaches also have egos and if you could convince a coach that he could be a fixture at a university or a legend, well, maybe he’s listening. That would have my attention. Now, at Alabama, the place at the head table reserved for Bear Bryant is locked away forever, but it doesn’t mean he can’t handle a dinner companion. Many thought that USC would never have a head coach on par with John McKay again, but Pete Carroll has carved his own niche in that program’s history. Nebraska was never going to survive with that Osborne character following legendary Bob Devaney in the 1970s, right? Uh, wrong. And, at Penn State, okay, bad example. The point is that greatness can happen at a place where a legend once resided.

If I’m worth my salt at all as a coach, I let ego take over and turn the Tide into the power it can still be. I’m going to get paid. I have great facilities. I have one of the most fertile recruiting areas in the nation. If I can’t win, it’s my own fault. The last thing coaches in the SEC want is someone with a vision and a passion, with a little riverboat gambler in him, to take over that program tomorrow. Who that is and where he is, hard to say, but he’s out there.

Matthew Zemek
Q: Do you want the Alabama job?

A: No way in hell. Who wants a merciless, delusional employer who expects you to be the next Bear Bryant and will fire you if you're not able to live up to the Houndstooth hat?

Another interesting read...more to come, including a South Florida paper turns the heat up on Nick Saban (to coin a phrase from TR).

Stay Tuned...

Paul Finebaum - Crossing the line?

Paul Finebaum may have gone too far...He may be dragged out into the streets of Birmingham for this one:

Breaking bad news to Bear

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The brisk, icy wind was whipping the barren tree branches as I slowly walked from the car down the narrow, rocky road. In the background, I heard the faint sound of a train slowly making its way down the track. It was near dusk as I arrived at Lot 57, Block 30 in Birmingham's Elmwood Cemetery.

"So, you are back?"

It was the deep, gravely and resonant voice of the Bear.

"There has been a lot happening since my last visit, Coach," I said. "Thought I better get over here and fill you in."

"Get to it, son."

"Alabama's looking for another coach," I said.

"I don't care about all that," he interrupted. "What bowl we going to this year? Sugar? I would like to beat those ... from Notre Dame again."

"Well, Coach, Alabama is playing Oklahoma State in the PetroSun Independence Bowl in Shreveport."

"Shreveport!" said the Bear. "What is that cow pasture doing hosting a bowl game?"

"Coach, Alabama went 6-6 this year and there's trouble on the horizon."

Coach Bryant paused for a moment, then finally, said, "OK, you better start from the beginning. Last time you visited me, Franchione had just left for Texas A&M and we hired Price from Washington State. I guess he finally wore out his welcome after four years, huh. I knew we should have hired Danny Ford."

I informed Coach Bryant that Price never made it to the first game. He was fired in May of 2003 because of an alleged transgression with a stripper.

Suddenly, the ground shook and a crashing noise could be heard. At first, it sounded like an explosion. I soon realized it was laughter. Coach Bryant finally said: "And they fired him for that?"

"Yes, sir, President Robert Witt said that kind of behavior was not acceptable at Alabama."

"So, who took over? No, don't tell me. They brought back Bebes and he wants to head back to the ranch now. Can't say I blame him. He's no spring chicken anymore."

"No coach, they hired Shula."

"Shula, well, I'll be," Bryant said. "I never liked him, but he did win a few Super Bowls. So what happened, the old Mount Rushmore face finally hang it up. Don't blame him. He must be pushing 75."

"Uh, Coach, they hired Mike Shula, his youngest son."

"Mike Shula. You mean, the little kid who played for Perkins and then got run out of the NFL."

"Yes, Coach. They fired him after losing the Auburn game at home."

There was silence for a moment. "He lost to Auburn at home. How embarrassing. How could Alabama ever lose to the cow college at home?"

"Coach, he lost four straight to Auburn. You're not going to believe this, but the school gave him a new contract earlier this year and raised his salary to nearly $2 million a year. This followed a blowout last year at Auburn when the Tide was down 21-0 in the first quarter and the quarterback got sacked 11 times. On top of that, Alabama had to pay Shula an additional $4 million on a buyout."

"What kind of morons do we having running our school?"

"Well, coach ..."

"How many national championships did Shula win?"

"None, Coach."

"Well, I realize it's tough to win it all now with that stupid BCS. I had trouble winning three straight myself. What about SEC championships? How many?"

"None, Coach."

"Let me get this straight. He didn't win any national championships? He didn't win any SEC titles and never beat Auburn and they gave him a raise and a new contract? Do we have The Three Stooges running this school?"

"Coach, let's cut to the chase. Shula was 26-23 after four years. He was 2-14 against Arkansas, Tennessee, LSU and Auburn."

"Is Mal on Auburn's payroll? Is he some kind of secret agent sleeping with the enemy. How does he keep his job? What is going on there?"

"And Coach, Alabama has now lost five straight to Auburn and five out of seven to Tuberville."

"I always liked that boy, Tubby. I knew his kin folk from over in Camden (Ark.) Why don't we just go hire him and end this debate once and for all."

There was quiet for a few minutes and then finally, Coach Bryant said: "OK, enough of this. So where is the search going now? I hope we're going to hire Spurrier. He's the best coach I've seen since I walked the sidelines. Love that guy. I think he might have even given me fits."

"Well, Coach, it looked like they had a shot at him but they dropped the ball and Spurrier ended up getting a contract extension at South Carolina."

"You're kidding me. Who is running this stupid search? There's no way they're letting Mal get anywhere near it, right?"

"Well, Coach, pretty much Mal, Paul Jr. and the president are in charge."

"Oh, my goodness."

"Coach, are you OK?"

"I'm sorry, I just can't believe this. So where are we now?"

"Well, the school supposedly offered Nick Saban a small fortune. Story in the Miami paper said with the bonuses, the number could go as high as $57 million, although Alabama folks denied it."

"He's not bad. A little arrogant. So when does Saban start?"

"Uh, Coach, he said he wasn't interested."

"He turned down $57 million?" said Bryant, his voice raging with anger. Finally, he calmed down and said, "So what's next? Petrino?"

"Said he wasn't interested."

"Beamer?"

"Same."

"What about Butch Davis? Didn't he put Miami back on the map after probation?"

"Coach, he desperately wanted the job but Alabama let him get away to North Carolina first."

A loud groan was heard.

"Then the school offered to double the salary of Rich Rodriguez of West Virginia."

"West Virginia," screamed the Bear. "Why would we hire a coach from that backwoods place? I can't believe we hired the stupid West Virginia coach at Alabama. How embarrassing. He better not put on one of my houndstooth hats."

"Uh, Coach, he turned it down, too. Said he wanted to stay in Morgantown."

Suddenly, the whipping wind stopped cold and there was neither sound nor motion.

A small, faint echo emitted, almost like a small baby crying. It became a little louder and finally, stopped.

"I'm sorry," said Bryant. "I got a little bit emotional for a second. I can't believe after all those years I put in that this has happened to my beloved school. We have become a laughingstock, a national punch line. Tell me, son, is there any hope at all?"

I took a deep breath and began walking toward my car. I looked back for a fleeting moment and slowly shook my head in silence.

Contact Paul Finebaum at:

finebaumnet@yahoo.com

His column appears Tuesdays and Saturdays in the Press-Register.

Not to say he doesn't make some valid points, but my goodness, talk about "taking the lords name in vain"!

Here is the link.

Paul...god help you.

Stay Tuned...

My Take: Alabama Football

I am getting close to jumping on the Steve Kragthorpe band-wagon. I like his style. His offense is potent. He's done a good job turning a joke like Tulsa into an annual bowl team, and there is reason to believe in the right circumstances he could really thrive at UA. Recruiting is always a concern when you bring a guy like that in, because he has limited experience recruiting a conference like the SEC. Then again, Mike Shula had zero experience recruiting on any level, and many would say that was the strong point of his tenure.

I've been saying for days that bringing in a "big name" is not the priority right now. Hiring the right coach is all that matters. Maybe that is Nick Saban. Maybe it is Jimbo Fisher (who has surfaced as a candidate for the UAB job...how embarrassing to be competing with UAB for a coach). Maybe it is Steve Kragthrope. Time will tell, and the success of this hire will not be determined by the media response, or by the teams record next year. It will be determined by the teams W-L record in 2010. It will be determined by what the "talent" on the roster looks like in 5 years. It will be determined by how many years Alabama is a non-factor in the SEC West heading into November.

For Alabama fans looking for a quick fix and long-term solution in the same package...you are what is holding us back! Such things just don't exist. If we hire someone like Nick Saban, you can count on him bolting the minute the USC job becomes available. If it isn't USC, it will be somewhere else. I promise. We will only succeed if we bring in someone who is hungry for an opportunity, respects the history of Alabama Football, accepts the responsibility of having a state hang on your every word/decision, is talented enough to take advantage of what UA provides a coach (pay, facilities, tradition, etc.), and willing to be aggressive in changing the mindset of Alabama Fans. Expectations are a bitch.

This team will be loaded with talent next year. There is no reason we can't win 10 games. There is no reason we can't compete for the SEC championship. There is no reason we can't still be in the BCS talk heading into late-November. There is no reason not to succeed next year. Beyond that we all need to accept the inevitable step back. LSU took one after Saban left. Florida took one after Spurrier left. We will take one too. Lets wait and see if the new coach can figure out how to turn one step backwards into two steps forward before we rush to judgment.

Its not that Alabama Football is a joke. Its not. Alabama FANS have become the joke. Seriously. What do Maggots and Bama fans have in common? They can both live off a dead bear for 25 years. See. A joke. We can appreciate what Coach Bryant did for Alabama (as a state, a university, and a football program), but respecting what he did doesn't mean we have to hold everyone that takes that position to the same standards. Coaches like that don't come around often, and there is reason people say "lightening doesn't strike twice."

Patience is what we need. Faith is what we lack.

If Alabama Fans are serious about returning to national prominence (notice I don't say "returning to the good 'ole days") then we're all going to just have to sit tight and wait for it. People on the message boards called those of us who supported Shula "Sunshine Pumpers" because we were so optimistic about Shula's long-term viability (By the way, I still am convinced he will be an outstanding head football coach) and we couldn't' see "how bad things were". Those people are just as guilty, but what they "can't see" is how much their vehement love for the Crimson Tide has prevented us from moving forward from the disaster that was Mike Dubose, Dennis Franchoine, and to a lesser extent Mike Price.

Its going to take time.

A whole lot of time.

But we still get to watch Alabama Football while we wait. Some weeks will be better than others. Some seasons better than others, but if we wait, good things will happen. The ingredients are in place, but you can't rush the cook.

Roll Tide!

Stay Tuned...

Something to calm the 'Bama fans...

Here is a good link to an article by Ben Cook of Lindysports.com.

I will post the text for those of you too lazy to click a link:

Despite common perception, Alabama coaching search still has options

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Ben Cook
LindysSports.com

The college football world had a big laugh at the expense of the University of Alabama last week when Rich Rodriguez decided he would rather spend a couple of million dollars a year in West Virginia than Alabama, so he told Alabama athletic director Mal Moore thanks but no thanks. Or maybe he told Moore to take his job and shove it. We'll probably never know exactly what he did, but he turned down the opportunity to coach the Alabama Crimson Tide. The perception is that Rodriguez was the third big name coach to turn Alabama down. He was not third; he was first. Steve Spurrier did not turn Alabama down. He never got the chance. For some unknown reason, Moore never contacted Spurrier. The odd thing is, Spurrier was ready to listen to Moore. He was interested in what he had to say, but Moore never called. Of course, just because Spurrier was interested in listening to Moore had to say does not by any means say that Spurrier would have taken the Alabama job if it were offered. But South Carolina certainly worried enough about the possibility to kick in another half a million dollars a year on Spurrier's salary to insure he would not leave.

The Nick Saban situation is a little different. There was enough interest there that some figures were tossed out to a Saban representative, but don't believe that $5 million a year fantasy created by The Miami Herald. As for a formal offer, that's cloudy but if I had to bet on it I would bet it never reached that stage. It could have had there been interest from the Saban camp, but whether there was is questionable; not out of the question, just questionable.

So that leaves Alabama without a head coach at the moment. So what? The only game the Tide has coming up is a meaningless bowl game against another average football team in the Independence Bowl, or whatever sponsor name it goes by these days. Back when bowl games really were rewards and you had to be a pretty good football team to be invited, neither of these teams would have been given a second thought.


So what's the big deal about not having a coach? It's recruiting, of course. Every day Alabama doesn't have a coach is a day lost. Oh sure, the remnants of Mike Shula's coaching staff are supposed to be holding the fort down when it comes to recruits, but anybody who believes they are putting their hearts into it is out of touch with reality.

But frankly, Alabama needs to think beyond this recruiting class and not hurry into anything. It would have been easy last week for Mal Moore to panic and start throwing out job offers like buckshot just hoping to hit something. The talking heads at ESPN are talking about how nobody wants the Alabama job and how Alabama has screwed up this search because the courtship of Rodriguez was so public, as was the rejection. But in this day of instant news via the Internet, radio, television and just plan fans who like to track movements of university planes there is just no way to conduct a coaching search in private if you are a big-time football school.

Moore didn't make the search public, the public and the media did. And they will do it again as soon as Moore targets his next candidate. It would be the same if it were Georgia or Auburn or Nebraska or Notre Dame. It's the nature of the beast.

So where is Moore looking now? The rumors are still strong about Saban and Alabama could afford to wait on him now that his Miami Dolphins season appears it will officially end on December 31. Hiring Nick Saban the first week or so of January would energize the Alabama program and it would likely be reflected on signing day.

But there are other coaches out there that could take over the program and flourish. Alabama is not--as some would have you believe--a graveyard for coaches. It is just a graveyard for the wrong coaches and Alabama has made a lot of wrong choices over the past 25 years AB (After Bryant). But now is the time to make a right choice, a choice of a coach who will not wilt under the spotlight that shines on the program or be intimidated by the looming specter of Paul William Bryant. The right coach will embrace the legacy that Bryant left behind and use it to his advantage, which is possible.

Despite what Moore said in the beginning about how he would land a coach who is a proven winner and had been a head coach, there are assistant coaches out there just waiting for someone to hand them the keys to the kingdom. Given the opportunity, there are some capable young assistants who would take the job and start added his legacy to that of the Bear. I'm not saying it is the way to go, but it is a way that should not be overlooked. Somebody is going to make a Jimbo Fisher or a Bo Pellini or a Norm Chow a head coach someday and they are going to be glad they did.

Of course, there are other good head coaches who wouldn't cower in fear at the prospect of coaching at Alabama--Steve Kragthorpe at Tulsa, Chris Peterson at Boise State or Paul Johnson at Navy just to name three. I'm not saying any of these coaches are anxious to leave their current positions, but they are evidence that just because Rich Rodriguez said no, the world has not fallen in on Alabama just yet.

Stay Tuned...