Wasssssup (8 years later)

An absolute must see video:

The "Wassssssup" guys from the Budweiser commercials are back, and life couldn't be more different.

Youtube Link



Just 9 more days - enjoy!

Stay Tuned...AND VOTE!

Spin...an American Tradition

I'll tell you one thing. I don't say this often, but I have to give it up to the GOP. The last three weeks have demonstrated that the brain-trust of the party is truly capable of spinning absolutely anything. I have three particular instances that are so astonishingly impressive and depressing at the same time.

Exhibit A: The Bristol Palin Pregnancy.

Leave it to the GOP, the party of "family values" to take what - for a Democrat - would be a crushing PR disaster among the religious right and turn it into a shining beacon of conservative values. They have managed to turn irresponsible pre-marital teenage sex and turn it into proof that the Palin family is the standard-bearer for all "values voters" to follow. Please note what I called it - Irresponsible (no protection); Pre-Marital (now they plan to wed); Teenage (she is 17) - that is not a value judgment, just a statement of fact. It is the conservative right that has been attaching moral judgment to those terms for the last 25 years.

This is the political equivilent of Tiger Woods' 350 yard drive. You just can't compete, no matter how well you play. They are playing a different game.

Exhibit B: The Biden "Stem Cell" Remark

No matter how you cut it, Joe Biden is right. If the GOP were truly the party most interested in helping families with disability, they would be more open to stem-cell research. What he said makes such a compelling point that - rather than responding with substantive debate supporting their ban on stem-cell research - the GOP attack machine condemmed Biden for sinking to "a new low" in modern politics.

How dare Joe Biden discuss stem-cell research when Sarah Palin's own child suffers from Downs Syndrome! How dare he properly point out that the Democrats have a significant policy difference from the Republicans on the issue of stem-cell research and that such research has the gasp! potential to help millions of American's suffering with disabilities.

And yet, Joe Biden is the bad guy because he has mentioned the "d-word" (disability) which, now that Sarah Palin has entered the race, is off-limits to the Democrats.

This is incredible work being done by truly gifted political minds. Not policy minds, but political minds. These are the same minds that were so preoccupied with scaring Americans into voting GOP in 2000, 2002, 2004 and 2006 that they ran the country right into the ground.

Exhibit C: The "lipstick on a pig" Remark

Now we see why Governor Palin was selected to be VP. It was not because her 5-month old child would give the GOP a monopoly on all discussions regarding disability - that was a freebie. It was because any reference made, by any Democrat, which might hint at gender is now a "slap" at Gov. Palin. So sensitive to the plight of women (and pigs, it seems) are the McCain folks that the use of the word "lipstick" brought the ire of the campaign. I'm not sure if they are suggesting that "lipstick" was offensive to put on a pig, or if they felt that Sarah Palin was being called a "pig" - it is unclear at this time.

Either way, this much is clear, the GOP will have NO references to gender in this election year. Unless Arnold is up for reelection in California again, in which case all "girlie-man" references will be wildly embraced by the Republican Party.

All this ignores one major consideration. Barack Obama was making reference to his sense that McCain's "change" agenda is bologna. It was not a reference to Sarah Palin. There were no women (and no pigs) involved in his use of the colloquialism.

When John McCain used the saying last year, however, he was specifically referring to Hillary Clinton's policy proposals.

Hypocrisy - at its absolute best.

Just when you thought you'd seen it all when you watched John Kerry's swift boat sink, Karl Rove and Krew swoop in to shame you into submission once more. For a party that whined and cried about Obama "playing the race card," they sure haven't hesitated to play the gender & disability card since adding Sarah Palin to their ticket.

I don't care what political party you belong to, at a certain point its time to get back on the issues. If John McCain doesn't like his "agenda of change" being characterized as a pig-in-lipstick, perhaps he should present legitimate policy provisions that represent the type of change that voters are looking for. If Sarah Palin doesn't like Joe Biden being a voice for millions of Americans living with serious disabilities, maybe she should respond by presenting proposed changes to the Americans with Disabilities Act or Medicare funding for 24-hour in-home nurses to help working families care for special needs children.

Alas, in this age of 24-hour news cycles and talking points there is no room for substance, and those that dare breach the muddy waters of intelligent debate are blasphemous elitist who clearly don't represent our interests.

To paraphrase one of my favorite sports casters, the late Don Poier, "Only in the movies and in America!"

Stay Tuned...

Palin: I can't help myself

Let me preface this - I don't want you to think that I consider myself "better" than anyone else because I have a law degree. Regardless of my personal education, I have standards for a Presidential and Vice-Presidential candidate.

I don't think for ONE SECOND that it is an ASSET that Sarah Palin has no education beyond a Communications Degree from the University of Idaho. This is a Tier 3 school according to US News & World Report. That means it checks in AT LEAST lower than 130 other schools (after 130 they are listed alphabetically). Among schools higher? The University of Alabama. Auburn University. Samford University. The University of Tennessee. Illinois Institute of Technology. and AT LEAST 125 other schools. But rankings aren't everything.

I'm not saying she has to have a J.D., but I want my commander-in-chief to have more than that B.S. (that's a pun - get it?) A Masters in Public Affairs/Policy would even be sufficient for me to feel confident that she understands the nature of the job she seeks.

I'll accept that her "not being a lifetime politician" can be a turn on, but I think its ludicrous to insinuate that her lack of advanced education is an asset. That - to me - sounds a little hollow.

I'm all for empowering ordinary citizens to seek elected office, but that should be City Council, or maybe the House of Reps - not President or Vice President. I expect more than "average" out of whomever holds that office.

And to be honest, I think anyone that contends otherwise is bitter that they haven't realized their own potential and find shallow reassurance in the potential success of another.

For what it's worth - this only touches on one MINOR issue I have with the Palin candidacy, and if I have time I will address the others.

There are so many.

Stay Tuned...

The Bar Exam - 10 things that drive us crazy

Someone sent this to me. Its too perfect not to share with the world. Those of you taking the Multistate Bar Exam will know EXACTLY what I am talking about

(sorry about the language, its written by someone else)

1. People who don't record their deeds:
Hey. Fuck face. That's a nice deed you got there. Went ahead and bought Stankacre, didya? That's awesome. Owning property is a sign of real maturity. Now, why don't you do us all a fucking favor, and go record the fucking deed.Right. Fucking. Now. Don't put it in a goddamn drawer. Don't go off to India for 20 years. Don't leave the deed in your will for dear cousin Victorianox. Get your fat lazy ass down to the records office, and record it before I burn your goddamn house down.

2. Wily property sellers:
Here is a suggestion to those Bill of Rights violatin' petty thug assclowns, the Police. How about you go down to Doucheacre, and arrest the son of a bitch who sells the same house to 15 different people, over and over. I'm sick of this guy getting away every time he pulls this shit, and I'm left to sort out the fucking pieces.

3. "Known" arsonists:
Here's a little tip to all the cretins that keep hiring "known"arsonists to burn down their cheating girlfriend's house. Why is it, do you think, that he is a known arsonist, you dipshit? He's known because he has been fucking caught before. You don't know who the good arsonists are, do you! Because they have their shit together. But no, you had to go hire Dusseldorf, or Durango, or whatever D word your fuckwit moron arsonist is named, and now he's gone and burned the wrong house, and left me with a BAR question.

4. People who back out of conspiracies:
Why don't you just stick with it and save us all some trouble, you pussy.

5. Power companies that leave an electric wire live to deter copper theft:
While I appreciate your effort to rid the world of thieves stupid enough to try and steal raw copper wiring that's fucking humming and has blue arcs dancing on it, it's just gonna bite you in the ass in the end. Just let the copper go.

6. Fertile Octogenarians:
I think I speak for all of us when I say...
...Burn the witch!
Burn her!
And don't use a "known" arsonist!

7. People who use anything more complicated than Fee Simple Absolute in a will:
Hey, old man. Either give Horatio your fucking interest in Scroteacre, or don't, alright? Don't condition it on him growing a mustache, or learning to play the calliope, or winning "Dancing with the Stars." Don't grant a springing executive interest to Zenobia if she manages to graduate from Ninja academy. Stop making my life more complicated than it needs to be, you Narcissistic old twat, and stop trying to control your property from the grave in a vain attempt to make up for your feebleness in life.

8. House Painters:
Just paint the fucking house yourself, Paulson.Trust me on this one. It's not worth it.

9. Bank Mortgages:
Hi there, First National Bank of South Calizonachussettsas. I don't mean to tell you how to run your business, but allow me to impart a bit of sage wisdom.
When someone :

1) named Defaultina McBankrupstein,

2) is taking out her 17th mortgage with you,

3) on a place called Mushacre

4) so she can buy a new hat,
….do NOT fucking come crying to me when the inevitable judicial foreclosure sale nets $34, a button, and some lint, all of which are devoured by the banks that are 20 miles ahead of you in creditor line. And do not ask me whether you are a junior or senior mortgagor, or whether you debt is secured, or some other bullshit I don't understand, because the answer is always the same.
D) You are Fucked. Take it like a man.

10. Wanna-be Burglars:
I am sick to death of these slack jawed melon-heads deciding at 2 a.m.that they need to borrow their neighbors wrench, and are sure he"won't mind" if they saunter on over there in the middle of the night, crowbar the garage open, smash open his tool chest, and "borrow it."And then always the inevitable fucking:
Did he commit Larceny/Burglary/Robbery?????? Ohhhhh, no intent!

Let him go, boys. Let the man go. So I can throw the wrench right at his goddamn teeth. Good thing when we are really in practice we will have these IntentGoggles (c), that can magically tell us, despite every bit of evidence to the contrary, this jackass really didn't intend to commit a crime.He genuinely thought that breaking into your neighbor's house,stealing his car, taking a shit on his pool table, and sleeping with his wife were all part of the social covenants between good neighbors.

I hope you got as good a laugh out of this as I did.

NOW GET BACK TO WORK!


Stay Tuned...

Michael Moore sounds...sane?

You really ought to take the time to read Michael Moore's piece on the Democratic Primary Season. He has kept his obnoxious and large mouth out of the race until today, when he posted a plea for PA democrats to vote for Obama on his behalf.

Here is the link.

Here is a great little clip that seems to be going unreported:

Finally, I want to say a word about the basic decency I have seen in Mr. Obama. Mrs. Clinton continues to throw the Rev. Wright up in his face as part of her mission to keep stoking the fears of White America. Every time she does this I shout at the TV, "Say it, Obama! Say that when she and her husband were having marital difficulties regarding Monica Lewinsky, who did she and Bill bring to the White House for 'spiritual counseling?' THE REVEREND JEREMIAH WRIGHT!"

But no, Obama won't throw that at her. It wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be decent. She's been through enough hurt. And so he remains silent and takes the mud she throws in his face.

Will the hypocrisy ever end?!?

Stay Tuned...

Is it just me...

Or do the Clintons want to be Republican?

CNN.com is reporting that Clinton's latest ad features Pearl Harbor and Osama Bin Ladin. Thats right. HRC has resorted to fear-politics. The exact kind the Democratic party has lambasted for the last 8 years.

Not only that, Bill Clinton came out today with a bunch of bullshit about how, under the GOP primary rules, HRC would be leading the race.

Wow. The family that knows no boundaries, no limits, no shame.

And a President hell-bent on destroying his legend.

And now I'll have to vote for McCain if HRC manages to steal this election.

You see what you've done Hillary? You see what you've made me do?!?

Outspent. Outfundraised. Outclassed.

Stay Tuned...

Clinton v. Obama: Experience

Lets look at the "35 years of experience" that the Clinton Camp keeps harping on:

The Facts:

Senator Barack Obama

1996-2004 (Illinois State Senator)

2005-2008 (United States Senator)

12 Years of Elected Office Experience

Senator Hillary Clinton

2001-2008 (United States Senator)

7 Years of Elected Office Experience

(FYI - George W. Bush had 6 years in office before the presidency)

So, 35 years that Hiliary keeps talking about, less 7 years of elected office = 28 years

Here are the remaining 28 years -

8 Years (Lawyer)

12 Years (First Lady of Arkansas)

8 Years (First Lady of the U.S.)

28 Years of Zero Elected Office Experience

Since when is 20 years of being a first lady equal the type of experience needed to be president?

Does that mean that the wife/husband of a heart surgeon is qualified to transplant my heart?

Don't let Clinton Supporters blindly throw "experience" in the face of voters - share this with other voters.

At the very least, it is absurd to imply that being a member of a state legislative body is not "experience" while being the spouse of a governor or president is.

Her experience is valid, and important - but it does not significantly distance her from Barack Obama in a discussion about who is ready to lead this country.

Stay Tuned...