(Washington, D.C.) - In a shocking turn of events, the Supreme Court (in an opinion written by Clarence Thomas - widely believed to be the first majority opinion of his tenure) has overruled McCullough v. Maryland.
Thomas is quoted as saying "Man! Fuck stare decisis! It's all about states rights. You better let Washington D.C. know, Missouri is on its way, and it is pissed off."
Interestingly, Justice Thomas also did not take part in the decision - thats just how he rolls.
In other news, the Federal Government has been reduced to 535 bored legislators, a "confused-looking" executive, and 9 throughly amused Supreme Court Justices.
President Bush spoke with reports this afternoon. He had these remarks to share with the country at this pivotal moment:
"MCCullogh? I'm white. Are you blind?"
Dick Cheney quickly stepped in:
"This is a difficult time for us here at the White House. We were throughly prepared to eliminate states rights all together, but our unquestioned, absolute omnipotence has been interupted by the activists over at the Supreme Court."
"Once States rights were out of the way, we were prepared to take away the rest of the individual rights. I guess it is finally time to bring the troops home."
When questioned about why the troops would be brought home now, Cheney added:
"Someone's got to take this country by force, and you know damned well Dubya and I aren't the fighting type."
More to come on this breaking story.
Stay Tuned...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment