Better than Hypoman...its Simple Country Lawyer!

Ladies and gentleman, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages, step right up to see the modern marvel that is Simple Country Lawyer!

You thought Hypoman was creative? You've never heard the fountain of semantic-al alternatives that is Simple Country Lawyer

Please read the following with your best "East Tennesse Twang", and play banjo at the same time.

What happens if you changed "If" to "But"?

What happens when you make the clause "now living" instead of "then living"?

What if monkies fly out of my butt 20 years and 11 months after the death of B and blow up all remaining members of the open class. Does the Fessel fail? Does the Fessel Swim? What does the Fessel like to eat? Would AJK eat a Fessel whole for $1000?

What happens if you punch Simple Country Lawyer in the mouth in the middle of class?

These questions and more available Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday from 11:15 to 12:05 in room 135 at the Law School at the University of Tennessee.

Come see the mad-genius at work!

Now, unlike those who came before me, I'm not afraid to put my name on this:

/s/ Richard McDermott.

("/s/" = signature)

Just kidding, by the way, this is the work of JLM

/s/ JLM


Stay Tuned...

The last 30 games

The Grizzlies start the push to the playoffs tonight, with the first of 30 remaining games.

We have one of the easiest schedules in the NBA, and THE easiest in the Western Conference.

Our opponents winning percentage (.477) not so strong.

We could use to win like 15 in a row.

And maybe try not to limp into the playoffs this year.

Win one game guys...one series...one ring.

Stay Tuned...

To all my loyal and beloved readers...

Don't be a sad clown that I have not posted this week.

I'm working on some things that I've been neglecting for too long, and when I get my head back on, I'll be back here to entertain everyone.

Bare with me, and don't give up hope.

Hope is all we have.

Stay Tuned...

Anyone else curious to see what Darko does in Orlando?

Yeah, I could have put a picture of Darko playing on here, but...this is more true to his days in Detroit.

It will be interesting to see what happens when Darko gets real minutes.

I can't blame Detroit.

I mean, the team was too good to get minutes for Darko, but all they got was Kelvin Cato and a number one draft pick?

Memphis missed a great opportunity to add height to the roster.

All they would have had to do was give up Lorenzen Wright and a draft pick.

Wren is a free agent at the end of the year anyways.

I just hope Jerry West knows more about basketball than I do.

Stay Tuned...

"We have a 78-year-old gun shot victim...You guys aren't going to believe this"

The jokes about Cheney are amazing...

From the Late Night TV:

John Stewart:
* "Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."

* "Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... Moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted -- it's just not worth it."


David Letterman:
* "Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney.

* "But here is the sad part -- before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor."

Jay Leno:
* "That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."
-- That is not funny. You've got a big chin. Yes, I say, Your chin is HUGE. This is why I put Leno after Letterman and Stewart. --

* "I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?

Even the British got in on it...
Craig Ferguson:
* "The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep."

It was put in print as well...

The Note:
* Sen. Pat Leahy (D-VT) says of his own recent hostile encounter with the Vice President, "In retrospect it looks like I got off
easy."

* New York Post wood has Cheney dressed up Elmer Fudd-style under a "WASCALS" header.

* The New York Daily News has "An Ode to Cheney: No. 2 with a bullet!," meant to be sung to the tune of Irving Berlin's "You Can't Get a Man With a Gun."

Wow, Dick Cheney has finally done something I can benefit from, even if it is only a laugh.

And I didn't even have to buy shares in an oil company.

Now the question everyone wants to know is "Why was this kept quiet for 18 hours? If there is nothing to hide, why all the secrecy?"

Time Magazine ask's the questions on their website.

For some fantastic political cartoons MASH HERE!

If that isin't enough to keep you entertained during torts, you're on your own.



Stay Tuned...

I sing the praises of "The Note"

For those of you who love politics, especially national politics, there is one source you must read every day for your capital hill news.

ABC's "The Note"

An excerpt from today's note:

This morning, to help Rep. Tom Reynolds and the NRCC celebrate Valentine's Day, the DCCC will be delivering "a gallon of bleach to help them clean out the House, a bucket of change to give them an idea of what's coming, and an orange vest just in case Dick Cheney gets too close," DCCC communications guru Bill Burton tells The Note.

It is nice to see Democrats with some swagger huh?

It has been almost 14 years since we've seen that.

This is a great source for news for those of us who don't work in D.C., and can't keep a constant eye on the national political scene.

You can register for "The Note" to be delivered to your mailbox every morning by MASHING HERE

Stay Tuned...

The animated battle for hearts and minds...

I hope this doesn't get my house burned to the ground.

Or the JLM embassy in Tehran.

In this age of intolerance, one website is fighting the good fight to remind everyone to smile...

It is a shame that people outside the west aren't allowed to appreciate satire.

It stems from generations of under-educated religious fanatics fearing change...

Now they can't even laugh at themselves...

Wow, that sounds pretty similar to certain Groups Of People in America, who shall remain nameless...

Stay Tuned...