Saturday, September 30, 2006

What is a Masochist?



Masochist is defined as: "gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification. The act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself."

Things that define me and make me wonder if I am a masochist:

I am an Alabama fan. Yeah, I know.

I am a Braves fan. Enough said.

I am a Law Student, but I don't work very hard.

I am someone hunting for a job, yet never seem to take any action.

I seek out signs that my "situation" might change, but only discover new, painful reminders that it won't.

Hey, If the glove fits...You're probably going to be convicted of murder.

[crickets]

No?

[crickets]

No O.J. Trial fans out there?

[crickets]

No?

[crickets]

Well, I didn't need your laugh to validate my humor.

[crickets]

Really.

[crickets]

Well, Fuck you then.

Stay Tuned...



* you may wonder why there is a picture of Johnny Knoxville. If you don't get it, you're not bright enough to read my blog.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Are you serious?



So I think we can all agree that GM is in the shitter. They quit making money years ago.

Here are some numbers to support my statement. God knows you have to prove up non-collateral claims.

Ford Motor Co. - Current Stock Price $8.16/share (down from $40 in 2000)

General Motors Co. - Current Stock Price $33.12/share (down from $102 in 2000)

Good news stock holders...they have the solution!

GM Needs New Hummer Models

I know you think I'm kidding, but if you click that link, you will see that this is really their business plan.

Its funny because I was thinking about writing on this subject, but I wanted to wait for a good headline.

There is a reason that the US Auto Makers are struggling to make money. Its because nobody outside the U.S. buys their cars.

Anyone curious as to why?

Well, aside from the fact that they put out an inferior product, people in Europe, Latin America, and Asia can't!

American car companies, who scream bloody murder when they are asked about emissions standards, are being blocked out of other world markets because their product doesn't meet the stricter emissions requirements of other regions.

So, here's to being too proud to change, and to stupid to improve.

Yeah, I think an H4 and H5 is the answer...Jackass.

You've got to feel for the United Auto Workers. They show up every day and do their job. You may take your issue with unions, but their fate is being determined by a management of idiots.

Its like those commercials where the guy works in an office full of monkeys who's business plan consists of buying lottery tickets.

Who gave these guys a laser pointer?!?

At night, if you listen closely in the autumn wind, you can actually hear Detroit dying.

Do they have hospice for corporations and cities?

Stay Tuned...

Things that are wrong with America v. 3


The G.O.P. is holding the 2008 National Convention in St. Paul, MN.

Why you might ask?

The location is the primary thing for the G.O.P.

They will be less than an hour from the Wisconsin state line, and two hours from the Iowa state line. This means that three critical swing states will be flooded with G.O.P., and the local media will have little choice but to cover the process en mass.

But it seems early to be making such decisions doesn't it? Well, there is a secondary rational for this decision as well.

According to Teagan Goddard:

Second, the timing of the decision reveals two goals. First and most obviously, the GOP seeks to preempt national Democratic efforts to convene in the Twin Cities. But also, the announcement gives Minnesota GOP candidates in 2006, particularly incumbent GOP governor Tim Pawlenty who is locked in a tight reelection race, something to crow about. Minnesotans tend to believe they don't get the national attention they and their state deserve, and this national GOP decision may curry favor with Minnesota voters by shining a spotlight on the state.


So, this is politics right? You may wonder, how does this express "what is wrong with America".

The answer?

Democrats.

Are we really going to continue to be a clueless party? A reactionary party, as Barak Obama recently said in his new book The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream.

How is it that the democrats continue to be beat to the punch? I thought that Dr. Dean was going to change the way this party worked. Thus far, its not looking that way.

We are less than 6 weeks from a serious election. I know its a mid-term. People don't get as excited because its all about local campaigns. That is understandable. It doesn't have the fan-fare associated with a Presidential Election. But in terms of importance, this one is huge.

Divided government is responsible government.

Right now we have a G.O.P. House, Senate, Judiciary, and Executive.

The result? Record deficits, international political disasters, a stalled domestic agenda, and a slowing economy.

The fact of the matter is, that if the Democrats would wake up, this election should be a cake walk. They might not be able to take back both houses, but they are sure in the position to say "Look what this republican government has done for you." The result of such a tactic would be gaining significant ground in both houses.

Every day Iraq looks more and more like a never-ending saga of civil unrest and military incompetence.

We lack a mandate and an objective right now.

The democrats have been handed a golden opportunity.

What do they do with it?

They wait to see what the G.O.P. does, and they try to respond.

Ask John Kerry what happens when you spend more time responding than making your own statements.

I did want to say, Harold Ford Jr. might have the election for Senate from TN handed to him. You should see the commercials that Bob Corker is putting out there. He has completely given up on showing the state what his agenda is in exchange for telling us that Ford is too liberal for Tennessee.

This, from a guy who won the primary based on the claim that his opponents were too conservative.

When is Mr. Corker going to start talking about himself?

Ford is the only democrat I'm seeing that has made the conversation about himself, rather than about how he is different from the Republicans.

In regards to the commercials. Watch "50 percent" and "America". Corker has the audacity to claim to be a hard-liner on illegal immigrants, but one of his construction projects was shut down because he refused to clean up the illegal alien labor mess.

Hypocrite.

To further illustrate my point, lets look at the "Red v. Blue" debate that occurred at UT last night:

In the blue corner: Peter Beinart, editor-at-large of The New Republic said that Democrats uphold greater morals in America; "Democrats care about helping the poor, balancing the budget, preserving our planet, and human rights."

In the red corner: Jonah Goldberg, contributing editor of National Review countered saying that "conservatism in America is changing, and is no longer about small government. Conservatives stand for a better America through accountability and making plans that work"

I am totally blown away. If I were to make a list of the 2 things that the current administration has failed for do, at the very top would be (1) accountability, and (2) making plans that work.

Who is being held accountable for the faux pa that is the intelligence failure in the leadup to Iraq?

Who is being held accountable for the total failure of intelligence leading up to September 11th?

Is the plan that tax cuts would help stimulate the economy working out well?

See also Record Deficits, inflation, consumer confidence index

Is the plan that was going to make Iraq a modern democracy, funded by its own oil wealth going pretty well?

See also, 2,900 dead American Soldiers and 43,000 dead Iraqi's, $318 billion spent by the U.S. Government

This 1984 language has got to stop, and its up to the Democrats.

And a thank you to Moof for putting me on the trail with the article about the 2008 Republican National Convention

Stay Tuned...

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Okay, I'm a Bama fan, but this is too much...



Brady Wakefield of Springville and Carson Beddingfield of Athens didn't realize they would be making history when they asked to have their wedding at Bryant-Denny Stadium. The couple married Saturday while the football team played Arkansas in Arkansas.

I love my tide, but when the bride is wearing a crimson dress, and dad wears the houndstooth to walk her down the aisle, things might have gotten out of hand.

Here is the full article: Mash This Thing

Thanks to Carey for the link!

Stay Tuned...

Today's sign of the apocalypse



Terrell Owens attempts Suicide...

Its hard to imagine, a guy who puts of a persona of invincible could go this route.

It will be interesting to see what the Cowboys have to say at 2:30 Central when they hold a press conference.

I always thought people were hard on T.O. because he spoke his mind and is truly one of the most gifted athletes in the world.

Its not difficult to imagine how isolated that must feel.

He shows up with a new team, looking to play football. Nothing else, just play football.

But people couldn't let that go. They want to see T.O. and Parcells fight on the sideline.

Its sad really.

And a statement about those who project themselves to be the strongest and most confident, are often the ones who hurt the most inside.

ESPN.com reports:

The friend attempted to pry [the pills] out with her fingers, then was told by Owens that before this incident he'd taken only five of the 40 pain pills in the bottle he'd emptied. Owens was asked by rescue workers "if he was attempting to harm himself, at which time [he] stated, 'Yes.'


I will believe it when I hear it from the horse's mouth.

T.O. - never a dull moment.

Stay Tuned...

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Phoenix



I feel reborn.

In death there is life.

Every end is the beginning of something new.

All we can hope for in life, is that when we start something new, we learn from what we did in the past.

We hope to do it better the next time, and even better the time after that.

I have recently withdrawn from the organized practice of Judaism.

I am still very Jewish.

Its a huge part of my identity, my persona.

I identify with the ethnicity, culture, and tradition of the faith greatly.

I had decided to take some time off.

Now I feel renewed.

Perhaps its time to re-evaluate that.

(Raising glass) To happy and healthy new year.

Stay Tuned...

Monday, September 25, 2006

New Chapter, Better Book.



Those of you who aren't really fascinated with the inner-workings of my personal and social life shouldn't read this note. It is not particularly funny (I mean, in a satirical way it is), and its pretty personal. Its not about sports, or politics, or something that happened at the bar.

This really isn't meant to be rude, or nasty. Its unfortunate that my blog is now connected to facebook, because my viewership has increased since that happened. Maybe a lot of you will read this. Maybe not. Either way, you know what this is, and what this isn't. This is a stress relief tool, a way to vent. Rather than picking on a friend or two and subjecting them to my delusional thought process, I am just going to write. I find it helps me feel better.

There.

You've been warned.

If you read on, its because you want to hear what I have to say.

Because you wanted to know how I feel.

I am finished.

I am giving up.

I am letting go.

I am hurt.

I am Jonathan's angry gall bladder.

Pain.

But today is a new beginning. A new book. A better book.

The last book was flawed.

I take responsibility for my share, I was no angel.

But in the end, I hurt.

It was cute to say things like:

"We want to be together, just not right now."

"We both want to spend our lives together, but we need some time."

"We want to be married, but in order to get from point A to point B we have to take this time apart."


They are cute ideas.

They are delusional.

Delusional is defined as: "an idiosyncratic belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality or rational argument. Generally associated with mental disorders."

I am in such a weird place.

Being single is new to me, and I think I'm handling it well. That is relative. I haven't ever done it before. I went from two long relationships in high school into a 5 year relationship in college. This is all new to me. "Well" is relative.

I do things that help me feel better. I go out with my friends. I am surrounded by people who care about my well being.

I'm adding to that group too. I've been fortunate to meet quite a few new people this year that I enjoy spending time with.

These things are wonderful. They make me stronger, and happy.

The new John Mayer CD is pretty good. There is one song in particular called "Heart of Life" and the chorus goes like this:

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But i know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining


I am fortunate to have outstanding friends who have defended that silver lining with me for way too long.

God, just realizing how long this has been going on makes me more depressed!

I am strong, capable, driven, & independent.

I am not whinny, miserable, weak, & needy.

I have been those things for a while, and its time to put that behind me.

There is another song, by Stroke 9. The song is called "Letters".

Don't wake me as you leave
Don't make me
Believe I have a chance in hell
don't tell me what I know too well
Don't wake me

Sooner or later you will long
when you wake you will see
Sooner or later all the songs
that make you shake will be by me
Sooner or later all the throngs of feelings
we used to appreciate
Will come rushing back


The long and short of it is this, I'm done with the bullshit.

I am going to take a shower and wash the old away.

I am going to stand in the mirror and have a conversation with myself that I've needed to have for a long time.

I am going to start over. Start new. Start.

Let this be a public thank you, and a public apology to those of you who have stood by me and defended the silver lining.

Aaron, Holly, Amy, Aslynn, Rudner, Mom, Dad, Abby, Jantzen.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

There are others of course, and I am sorry if I didn't list your name.

I am starting a new chapter now. I want you to all be there, celebrate with me.

And I assure you, the time will come again, when the lining needs to be defended.

And you can always count on me to defend your silver lining too.


Stay Tuned...