Things to do in East TN when you're dead...2

"The Apple Barn"

The name says it all.

The place is apple-licious...

Apple-tastic...

Apple-standing...

There are a lot of apples...

When you sit down, they bring you an "apple julip" which is a mixture of apple juice, orange juice, and pineapple juice with cinnamon. They also bring you Apple Fritters (no joke, amazing!) with Apple Butter...

The menu, was thoroughly southern. With every meal you get mashed potatoes, soup, and a vegetable. The soup? I had the black bean and ham soup, but I should have gotten the chicken noodle, it looked great. Chicken-n-dumplings, Country Fried Steak, Fried Catfish, Grilled Rainbow Trout, Fried Chicken, etc.

After we ate, it was time to hit the "apple mall" its a series of stores that all sell Apples in one form or another. First up was the Apple Winery. The Apple wine was excellent. Dry, nutty, a hit of oak. I bought a bottle to take to Robyn. The Apple-Peace Dessert wine, a little too sweet for me. People seemed to really like the Apple-Strawberry, I know at least Cara bought some.

Next up on our walk of shame was the Apple Candy Kitchen. No joke, they were making all the candy in the window. What a sweet job huh? No pun intended. Well, yeah, pun intended. Anyways, Abes almost crapped himself when he saw the plethora of Candy Apples. He bought two. I got some excellent candy sticks.

As we continued down the path, we end up at THE APPLE BARN, complete with a cider bar! The place smelled great, and was kind of geared towards people about 40 years older than me, but the idea was cool. They sold apples, and apple juice, and cider, and all kinds of apple candles, and pictures, and walking sticks made of applewood, very interesting stuff. The cider bar was awesome though. I got a big class of ice cold cider, courtesy of holly (THANKS HOLLY!), and it was everything I could do to not buy the fried apple pies. I resisted, and one day when I'm older it will have been worthwhile to refrain. Today I'm sad about it.

On the way out of town, we made the most important stop of the day. The "AS SEEN ON TV" outlet. It is the self-proclaimed "largest as seen on TV outlet in the world" and it didn't lie. The place was huge, but full of CRAP. I did find two small treasures, the flashlight you never have to put batteries in, and a blow gun. 'Cause you never know when the power will go out and you'll need to shoot someone with a blow dart.

All in all, an afternoon well spent. If only we didn't have to go to Torts...

Next week? The alpaca farm?

** The people in the picture of the apple barn are not associated with this website, and in fact, the picture was taken in 1997 (according to the site I got it from)


** We also checked out the U.F.O. (Unclaimed Freight Object) store, and it was a total disappointment. It was nothing but crap that had been taken off the shelves at CVS and Walgreens. The rest of it was from trucks that had accidents, and the insurance company sells the merchandise to stores like this because the recipient of the shipments wouldn't purchase it after the accident. Most disturbing thing we saw? People had brought in have used bottles of soap and lotion, and they were for sale. No joke, a 1/3 empty bottle of Jergens with a $.25 sticker on it. EW!

The Pictures:

A big cute group picture from The Apple Barn


The UFO store was a huge disappointment, but we got this great picture! Would you like some fruit?


Me, Abes, and Cara Lynn at The Apple Barn


How goofy does Abes look in a Coon-Skin hat?


A wholesome day, Cold Cider and Checkers...We were debating what type of alcohol would be best in Cider...the consensus was warm bourbon...


Despite what the sign says, Holly is worth at least $5!


You've heard of "hot pants" well, Greg, Holly, and Hipple the Nipple found "hot hats"...


Holly's latest boyfriend, Lance-Seven

Stay Tuned...